Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Student Elections- The Definitive Guide of Who to Vote For!

Elections. They come but once a year, (if you're in University).

Voting is taking place for Swansea Uni's Student Officers for the next 2 days, after at least a week of hard campaigning (well, changing your cover photo, anyway). From what I gather, candidates spend a wad of cash on paper, sharpie pens and pritt stick, put their posters in every lecture theatre under the Sun (not the newspaper, but maybe they slip posters in The Sun paper as well? Target those intellects and get them on board early!) so that we can choose who can join our fine establishment and work for a bit less money than a lecturer would if they took on that responsibility.

I am in the massively well-informed position of knowing ONE officer from this vintage (ahem) year of Swansea University's history, and that's only because I heard my housemates talking about them (I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of being associated with me, they could use my massive network of Uni friends (ha!) to their advantage). As far as I, average Joe, could tell, nothing has changed at all in the three years I have endured here, except I'm certain the Athletics Union (AU) membership price has gone up by 50%, which is ever so slightly above inflation, but only 250% down from what the University fees have increased by. Mind you, I didn't buy an AU Card in 2nd year, so maybe I missed the small step up to the cost it is today. The reason for my non-membership was partly down to my failed Football trials, where I kicked a ball near where a goal should have been, was forced to strip until the Little Lord was out on full show in the cold and rain, and chase footballs and other men around a muddy field.

I didn't make it into a team. All 9 of them.

So apart from absolutely nothing, what have the Student Officers done?... No really, that's a question I'm asking you. I literally have no idea.

This year's candidates all look strong and able & willing (No, of course I haven't read their manifestos, I'm a busy 3rd Year goddammit!), and I will give my vote to the candidate who does something. It can be anything. It can be absolutely wrong and completely against what I want. But at least you can say you did something, and didn't pale into the obscurity of a yearbook with nothing to show for it. If you're motivated by how this will look on your CV; believe me, employers would appreciate someone who said "I tried a few things, but ultimately, it didn't work out" than someone who said "I spent all this money on paper and sharpies and pritt stick so I could sit in an office and see how many times I could swirl my chair around and around without having to use my legs!"

The way to vote is simply thus- simply hover your metaphorical pen over the metaphorical ballot (or just do it in your head) and say to yourself "eenie meenie miney mo, pick the person that you know!" and voila! If you don't know anyone in a particular category (and out of 7, there's 4 in which I know nobody) I'd stay out of this contest all together. The likes of you and me clearly don't belong in a world of this level of popularity. We're much better sitting here with an Earl Grey being told who to vote for.

If anyone can nudge me in the right direction in the next 24 hours, that'd be swell.

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